You should always take compatibility into account because all that money means nothin when you're not happy spending time with that person.I'm not looking for a personal atm,but a cool down to earth person that's fun.
You should always take compatibility into account because all that money means nothin when you're not happy spending time with that person.I'm not looking for a personal atm,but a cool down to earth person that's fun.
A friend told me she called from the bar in which they were supposed to meet.....the phone rang in the gentleman's pocket standing right next to her.......her point was she didn't recognize him at all......kinda made me think to myself, "So, he didn't recognize YOU, either?" :):)
And another time, before I knew how crazy this was, a woman asked me to pick her up at her house for the first meeting, after swapping a few pics. When she answered the door, she said, "Hi, wait just a second. I'll get my ____________." ...As that sentence reached my eardrums, I expected the last word in it to be "daughter," (much younger)"sister," "niece," "roommate." .....When it turned out to be "pocketbook," I nearly broke and ran. I was literally speechless, which anyone can tell you doesn't happen often.
Quoting deke7344
Absolutely not! It's all in the screening process when you are confined to online dating.
One time, however, I was in a bar waiting for my date to show up when I someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and my first thought was OMG. my date was sick and she sent her mother to tell me. Oops.
Quoting deke7344
Absolutely not! It's all in the screening process when you are confined to online dating.
One time, however, I was in a bar waiting for my date to show up when I someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and my first thought was OMG. my date was sick and she sent her mother to tell me. Oops.
A friend told me she called from the bar in which they were supposed to meet.....the phone rang in the gentleman's pocket standing right next to her.......her point was she didn't recognize him at all......kinda made me think to myself, "So, he didn't recognize YOU, either?" :):)
And another time, before I knew how crazy this was, a woman asked me to pick her up at her house for the first meeting, after swapping a few pics. When she answered the door, she said, "Hi, wait just a second. I'll get my ____________." ...As that sentence reached my eardrums, I expected the last word in it to be "daughter," (much younger)"sister," "niece," "roommate." .....When it turned out to be "pocketbook," I nearly broke and ran. I was literally speechless, which anyone can tell you doesn't happen often.
One thing that I have come to learn is that you need to be able to take care of yourself. You can't go around wondering if someone is going to support you for the rest of your life. Just because someone says that they are a millionaire doesn't mean that they don't have any debt and couldn't lose everything they have especially with the economy or a bad investment. I guarantee a lot of people in this country are sitting on a house of cards. Look at what has been happening for the past year or two.
One thing that I have come to learn is that you need to be able to take care of yourself. You can't go around wondering if someone is going to support you for the rest of your life. Just because someone says that they are a millionaire doesn't mean that they don't have any debt and couldn't lose everything they have especially with the economy or a bad investment. I guarantee a lot of people in this country are sitting on a house of cards. Look at what has been happening for the past year or two.
Well it's money she wants instead of a proper relationship. Money is just a means to survive in life and should not be a tool to a relationship. Some women marry for love and others for security. When you are rich it is always difficult to know if its your money they are after or your body. Be like me poor and married for 38 years but we are still in love. I really do wish you well in your search for love, it will come to you someday when you least expect it and you will know its real.
Well it's money she wants instead of a proper relationship. Money is just a means to survive in life and should not be a tool to a relationship. Some women marry for love and others for security. When you are rich it is always difficult to know if its your money they are after or your body. Be like me poor and married for 38 years but we are still in love. I really do wish you well in your search for love, it will come to you someday when you least expect it and you will know its real.
I've mentioned the idea of a Prenup on my blog as well. The idea is as old as time. My point is that I don't believe a woman has entitlement to anything that was accumulated before she was in the picture. Just as I don't think a man should have anything I've worked for simply because he shows up.
Now, if she is a contributing factor to the success of the marriage and finances during the union, then yes. And there's where a marriage contract comes in. In the case of this lady, I think she needs to talk to someone. Counseling is a great thing (professional plug). She doesn't know what she wants nor what's she's doing. Yes, those things are his, but that's what she wanted. What she needs to be doing is dedicate some of that energy to doing something with herself and having satisfaction not by being a gold digger but growing her own financial worth.
At this point in my life, I'm not looking for a start-up. If a man doesn't have something when I meet him at this point, I'm not about trying to motivate him to do so. A work in progress, meaning that we work TOGETHER, great! I'm all about that. But I have a son, I'm not growing up any more men. Period!
Very good post Michael.
I've mentioned the idea of a Prenup on my blog as well. The idea is as old as time. My point is that I don't believe a woman has entitlement to anything that was accumulated before she was in the picture. Just as I don't think a man should have anything I've worked for simply because he shows up.
Now, if she is a contributing factor to the success of the marriage and finances during the union, then yes. And there's where a marriage contract comes in. In the case of this lady, I think she needs to talk to someone. Counseling is a great thing (professional plug). She doesn't know what she wants nor what's she's doing. Yes, those things are his, but that's what she wanted. What she needs to be doing is dedicate some of that energy to doing something with herself and having satisfaction not by being a gold digger but growing her own financial worth.
At this point in my life, I'm not looking for a start-up. If a man doesn't have something when I meet him at this point, I'm not about trying to motivate him to do so. A work in progress, meaning that we work TOGETHER, great! I'm all about that. But I have a son, I'm not growing up any more men. Period!
It is important for us girls to get the best education possible and get a career organised. That way you are secure and do not need to worry about not having anything.
This lady seems to be chasing a lifestyle that does not belong to her. She is entitled to nothing. She should be grateful for what she has. I think some people forget what the real world is like. Some people need to view or experience the lifestyle of those less fortunate. When I went into the townships in south africa and entered those shacks where people have nothing. It certainly puts some perspective on life. Even the people who had nothing, they still had smiles on their faces, they were still warm and welcoming and full of life.
I could understand though if that lady was getting married and was having kids. Thats when I would want to know that I was going to be secure as its us girls who have to take time out of work to have kids etc.
Money does not make you happy. It does make life easier at times and does give you more options but I honestly think people who spend their life chasing money like that are truely sad. She needs to find something healthier to occupy her time.
sarah :-)
It is important for us girls to get the best education possible and get a career organised. That way you are secure and do not need to worry about not having anything.
This lady seems to be chasing a lifestyle that does not belong to her. She is entitled to nothing. She should be grateful for what she has. I think some people forget what the real world is like. Some people need to view or experience the lifestyle of those less fortunate. When I went into the townships in south africa and entered those shacks where people have nothing. It certainly puts some perspective on life. Even the people who had nothing, they still had smiles on their faces, they were still warm and welcoming and full of life.
I could understand though if that lady was getting married and was having kids. Thats when I would want to know that I was going to be secure as its us girls who have to take time out of work to have kids etc.
Money does not make you happy. It does make life easier at times and does give you more options but I honestly think people who spend their life chasing money like that are truely sad. She needs to find something healthier to occupy her time.
A bit of Trivia..... hahahaha ..... A little off subject of your original post perhaps ... but blogs are a lovely way to enhance one's knowledge and insight, meet new friends (or enemies? ~~ cringe ~~ ), share ideas ... and, can definately charge up the thinking processes ... some can be quite amusing at times, there are a multitude of variations ..... don't you think?
Nuptial agreements have been around for thousands of years. During the 19th century, in the U.S., before the Married Women's Property Act of 1848, the agreements were necessary for women in the United States. Until the act became law, everything a woman owned or inherited was transferred to her husband. If he died or divorced her, she could lose everything. I wonder how that affected people like the original Ford's and Rockafeller's.
In the Jewish "realm" The Ketubah, the Hebrew marriage contract dating back 2000 years ago, is one of the first legal documents giving financial and legal rights to women. Amazing!!! This is a very detailed document and still very much in practice I'm told.
For those following this particular blog of Michael's, and were wondering, NO , the U.S. lawyers did not invent the prenup (or prenupt), using the more modern term ! hahahaha
I tend to favor the latter of your suggestions to your "friend" . But, considering the brief insight you gave about your friend, it was diplomatic, to say the least. Of course, every situation is unique. I agree with Pat on her observations of this particular woman, solely based on your personal experience with her, and, I would doubt she (your "friend") would consider either suggestion. Did she? Just my opinion.... we all have them ....
A bit of Trivia..... hahahaha ..... A little off subject of your original post perhaps ... but blogs are a lovely way to enhance one's knowledge and insight, meet new friends (or enemies? ~~ cringe ~~ ), share ideas ... and, can definately charge up the thinking processes ... some can be quite amusing at times, there are a multitude of variations ..... don't you think?
Nuptial agreements have been around for thousands of years. During the 19th century, in the U.S., before the Married Women's Property Act of 1848, the agreements were necessary for women in the United States. Until the act became law, everything a woman owned or inherited was transferred to her husband. If he died or divorced her, she could lose everything. I wonder how that affected people like the original Ford's and Rockafeller's.
In the Jewish "realm" The Ketubah, the Hebrew marriage contract dating back 2000 years ago, is one of the first legal documents giving financial and legal rights to women. Amazing!!! This is a very detailed document and still very much in practice I'm told.
For those following this particular blog of Michael's, and were wondering, NO , the U.S. lawyers did not invent the prenup (or prenupt), using the more modern term ! hahahaha
I tend to favor the latter of your suggestions to your "friend" . But, considering the brief insight you gave about your friend, it was diplomatic, to say the least. Of course, every situation is unique. I agree with Pat on her observations of this particular woman, solely based on your personal experience with her, and, I would doubt she (your "friend") would consider either suggestion. Did she? Just my opinion.... we all have them ....
Okay, I admit that it's late [for me] and I've read your post over only twice....But it sounds as though this woman is looking for a man with money, period.. Then ,when she finds one--she rejects him. So exactly what the hell is this broad really looking for? Someone to dump 20 million in her lap before even talking to him on IM????? Sorry on this one, Michael. This broad sounds like a total loony tune. She thinks she knows what she wants...but when she gets it she doesn't want it. She surely ain't gonna find a man who is gonna turn over his milions to her before he even knows her..... Oh, and hey.... Does being able to have a half hour's worth of conversation with the money guy even come into play here? I mean something in common with the fellow who has all the money? Doesn't look like it does....not from your post. The fact that you can even remain friends with this broad speaks volumes to your patience and understanding.....and maybe your craziness. [On the other hand, you've never given any indication of every being a victim of such scams, so.......so.......so.......got something up your sleeve for this not so cagey--but thinks she is--broad????] I'd write her off in an instant.... Pat
Okay, I admit that it's late [for me] and I've read your post over only twice....But it sounds as though this woman is looking for a man with money, period.. Then ,when she finds one--she rejects him. So exactly what the hell is this broad really looking for? Someone to dump 20 million in her lap before even talking to him on IM????? Sorry on this one, Michael. This broad sounds like a total loony tune. She thinks she knows what she wants...but when she gets it she doesn't want it. She surely ain't gonna find a man who is gonna turn over his milions to her before he even knows her..... Oh, and hey.... Does being able to have a half hour's worth of conversation with the money guy even come into play here? I mean something in common with the fellow who has all the money? Doesn't look like it does....not from your post. The fact that you can even remain friends with this broad speaks volumes to your patience and understanding.....and maybe your craziness. [On the other hand, you've never given any indication of every being a victim of such scams, so.......so.......so.......got something up your sleeve for this not so cagey--but thinks she is--broad????] I'd write her off in an instant.... Pat
Well, if she goes into it with the attitude of seeing what she can get of his.....we call those gold diggers, don't we? Why would anyone think they are entitled to what someone else earned? I think if I love someone, I should plan on sharing everything I have, subject to previous obligations incurred ( children & family care, education, etc.) But I share because we are a "WE". If you decide you no longer wish to share yourself with me, why would I then wish to keep sharing what I had before you came along? Sure, there are other circumances to consider...Did you forego the pursuit of accumulation of a separate wealth during the term of the relationship? etc. And while you would certainly be entitled to half of what we prosper by during our time together, what about the reverse? If I have to subsidize our joint losses during this term with funds from pre-existing assets, are you going to write ME a check when you leave?
To your original question, Michael, sure, it ia always better to accumulate together, for the common bond those experiences bring. We always appreciate things more if we earned them. If we have joint 'war stories' that we can share in our dotage about those trials and triumphs, that has to be a strength in a relationship.
But, if two people really love and support one another, who has what should never even surface. When one party (or both) decide to no longer do so.......ahhh, that's when it matters.
CG
Well, if she goes into it with the attitude of seeing what she can get of his.....we call those gold diggers, don't we? Why would anyone think they are entitled to what someone else earned? I think if I love someone, I should plan on sharing everything I have, subject to previous obligations incurred ( children & family care, education, etc.) But I share because we are a "WE". If you decide you no longer wish to share yourself with me, why would I then wish to keep sharing what I had before you came along? Sure, there are other circumances to consider...Did you forego the pursuit of accumulation of a separate wealth during the term of the relationship? etc. And while you would certainly be entitled to half of what we prosper by during our time together, what about the reverse? If I have to subsidize our joint losses during this term with funds from pre-existing assets, are you going to write ME a check when you leave?
To your original question, Michael, sure, it ia always better to accumulate together, for the common bond those experiences bring. We always appreciate things more if we earned them. If we have joint 'war stories' that we can share in our dotage about those trials and triumphs, that has to be a strength in a relationship.
But, if two people really love and support one another, who has what should never even surface. When one party (or both) decide to no longer do so.......ahhh, that's when it matters.
Very good question, Michael. Is there a definitive concrete answer? I tend to say no. Simply because of so many life factors that could influence the situation of he/she has more than the other. There are many "what if's" to be considered by the one with 'lesser' assets, especially, I think, in the age group of over 50. And, yes, I'm sure some in the 40's. I speak strickly from my perspective, being 60 and a woman. No matter what anyone says, or how much love is involved at the beginning, one's self preservation comes into play. The security, shall we say, is a huge issue especially if the 'lesser' party is the one giving up home and hearth. I suppose many might say, if you are in love everything will work out. In a perfect Cinderella world, perhaps. And then, one might ask (the lesser) , when is the time to discuss the possibility of a breakup and it's impact on the financial well being of the lesser? Do you discuss it at the beginning of a blossoming relationship, or, in some cases, just before marriage? I daresay, this is where PRENUPS come into play for some. Another topic of sometimes heated discussions on both the side of the lesser and the more. Again, that self preservation comes into play, doesn't it? Of course, there is the scenario of "I came into it with nothing, I can leave with nothing" for those that have the opportunity to survive without the other's monetary support. I like the "building together", personally, even if it is to expand an already flourishing empire, or a new one. Being the woman, and just how I am, I would have to consider the "what if's", and, would want them addressed and out of the way in the earlier stages of just meeting. To me, that puts my "self preservation" in a more comfy place so that it doesn't keep picking at me like a crow with a morsel of food. But, you know, in any situation, some will look badly on the 'lesser' for even thinking on the "what if's" and see it as a negative influence, sort of like, "if you go into a relationship with the attitude that it might not last, it won't. Be positive". Is there an answer or solution? Yes. But, definately dependent on the two people involved. THAT is something, to me, that is of great importance to me, a part of your relationship that is paramount - the ability to discuss all of life together , the opportunity to find the solutions, TOGETHER - Not an answer either way, I suppose. More my thoughts. Maybe I will see an answer later today.....
Very good question, Michael. Is there a definitive concrete answer? I tend to say no. Simply because of so many life factors that could influence the situation of he/she has more than the other. There are many "what if's" to be considered by the one with 'lesser' assets, especially, I think, in the age group of over 50. And, yes, I'm sure some in the 40's. I speak strickly from my perspective, being 60 and a woman. No matter what anyone says, or how much love is involved at the beginning, one's self preservation comes into play. The security, shall we say, is a huge issue especially if the 'lesser' party is the one giving up home and hearth. I suppose many might say, if you are in love everything will work out. In a perfect Cinderella world, perhaps. And then, one might ask (the lesser) , when is the time to discuss the possibility of a breakup and it's impact on the financial well being of the lesser? Do you discuss it at the beginning of a blossoming relationship, or, in some cases, just before marriage? I daresay, this is where PRENUPS come into play for some. Another topic of sometimes heated discussions on both the side of the lesser and the more. Again, that self preservation comes into play, doesn't it? Of course, there is the scenario of "I came into it with nothing, I can leave with nothing" for those that have the opportunity to survive without the other's monetary support. I like the "building together", personally, even if it is to expand an already flourishing empire, or a new one. Being the woman, and just how I am, I would have to consider the "what if's", and, would want them addressed and out of the way in the earlier stages of just meeting. To me, that puts my "self preservation" in a more comfy place so that it doesn't keep picking at me like a crow with a morsel of food. But, you know, in any situation, some will look badly on the 'lesser' for even thinking on the "what if's" and see it as a negative influence, sort of like, "if you go into a relationship with the attitude that it might not last, it won't. Be positive". Is there an answer or solution? Yes. But, definately dependent on the two people involved. THAT is something, to me, that is of great importance to me, a part of your relationship that is paramount - the ability to discuss all of life together , the opportunity to find the solutions, TOGETHER - Not an answer either way, I suppose. More my thoughts. Maybe I will see an answer later today.....
